Warrior Parenting: Build Resilience | Invictus Martial Arts

Hey there, fellow Warrior Parents! Today we’re gearing up to dive into the first pillar of Warrior Parenting, and that is building resilience in our kids. Resilience is a cornerstone for navigating life’s twists and turns, both as kids and as adults. And at Team Unconquerable, we’re all about empowering you to help your kids handle life’s ups and downs. So, let’s get down into the weeds of building resilience, by looking at what resilience is and how you can develop it in your child.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is like our kids’ superpower, right? The actual definition of resilience is the capacity to withstand or recover from difficulties. Resilience is not about what happens to you. It’s about how you handle what happens to you. It’s not just about bouncing back; it’s about bouncing forward, stronger than ever. And that is no easy feat. Resilience is a tricky thing even for us adults to develop, and for our kids it’s even harder. Our job as Warrior Parents is to help them with this.

“It’s not about shielding them from the storm but teaching them how to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

It Starts With YOU!

One thing you are going to hear me say over and over again on this journey to becoming Warrior Parents is this: You can’t give what YOU don’t have. Think about that for a minute… If you are not resilient in difficult situations, how can you teach your child to be? The old adage of “Do what I say, not what I do,” just doesn’t hold up. So, if resilience is not your strong suit, you need to pause here and do some work on yourself. Everything you are about to read applies to adults and children alike, but you need to learn how to do these things in your own life before you try to teach them to your child.

Now, I want you listen closely to what I’m NOT saying. You don’t have to be perfect at handling difficulties and setbacks before you start teaching you children how to do that. But you do need to have some experience with it. So, look at each one of the suggestions below and ask yourself this question: Is this something I do (or try to do) when life gets hard? If your answer is yes, then you are good to go. Start talking with your kids about it and working on it with them. Use your own struggles as examples, and be open with them about when life is hard and your resilience has to kick in. But, if your answer is no, spend a little time fostering that particular thing in yourself before you jump into it with your kids.

Four Ways to Foster Resilience

Teach Coping Strategies

In order to navigate difficult situations with resilience, you’ve got to start by keeping your emotions in check. And this is true no matter how those difficult situations make you feel. Whether you are angry, frustrated, disappointed, or just plain sad, nothing productive happens when you’re consumed by emotions. And this doesn’t happen naturally, especially for our kids. We have to intentionally teach them how to do it.

Imagine that your child has a toolbox. That toolbox is there to help them tackle stress and frustration. But right now it’s empty. We have to fill it up by teaching them breathing tricks, mindful moments, and even a bit of artsy expression. Each of those is a tool they can add to their toolbox to help them handle whatever life sends their way.

Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

This is a tough one, isn’t it? Failure is never fun, but it’s just one of the realities of life. The only way to avoid failure is to never try anything, and that is definitely not what we want to instill in our kids. So, if we know they are going to fail at some point, we need to be ready to teach them how to fail.

Learning from our mistakes is the only way we grow. As Warrior Parents, we can help our kids do this by helping them figure out where their mistake was, how they could’ve avoided it, and what they can do different the next time. In those moments of failure, we have the opportunity to help them approach as Samuel Beckett says to: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Failing better is one of the keys to resilience, and your kids can only do that when they see their failures as learning opportunities.

Encourage a Positive Mindset

Positivity is contagious, and we want our kids to catch the bug early on! At the gym, we infuse our classes with positive affirmations and uplifting language. At every turn, we help our kids focus on the good stuff, even when things get tough. Through positive reinforcement, we aim to create an environment where optimism becomes a natural part of their thought process.

This same positive mindset is critical as a Warrior Parent. Yes, we correct their mistakes. Yes, we discipline. But through that we constantly encourage our kids to have a lens of optimism and gratitude so that their mindset stays positive rather than negative. It’s super easy to beat yourself up over mistakes and setbacks, but that’s just not productive. Keeping a positive mindset is one of the secrets to resilience, so we have to help them keep their focus in the right place.

Build Confidence Through Challenges

Confidence isn’t built overnight; it’s a gradual process. And one way to build confidence is by giving our kids challenges that strike the right balance of what they can already do and what they are learning to do. Without this balance, challenges are counterproductive. Think about it… If the challenge is too easy, we are building false confidence. If the challenge is too hard, we’ll leave them feeling defeated.

We need to introduce challenges that are just right for each child. Success in these challenges, whether it’s mastering a new skill at the gym or accomplishing a personal goal at home, becomes a confidence booster. We celebrate every achievement, big or small, reinforcing the belief that they can overcome obstacles and emerge victorious.

The Key to TRUE Resilience

Even after you have a toolbox full of coping strategies, learned how to embrace failure, have a positive mindset, and have built confidence through challenges, resilience may still seem pretty difficult. Trust me, I know how that feels. I’ve been there myself. I’ve had times in my life when it felt like no matter what I did or what I tried, I was left feeling defeated and hopeless. And I’ve seen my kids go through this too.

That’s because something was missing. I was trying to handle everything on my own, and that just didn’t work. I was missing the key to true resilience, and that key is Jesus. Once I learned to tackle life’s challenges with the Lord by my side, my resilience started to grow. Leaning on the Lord by praying, worshipping, and studying the Bible has been, and continues to be, a huge source of strength for me and my family. If you want to have true resilience as a Warrior Parent, and if you want to develop that same resilience in your kids, Jesus is the key.

Get the Worksheet

If you want to dive deeper into building resilience in yourself and your child, but you’re just not sure how to do it, don’t worry! We’ve got you! We’ve put together four pages of exercises that will help you learn more about your resilience, your child’s resilience, and how to improve both. And the best part is you can get is for free. Just click the button below to grab your copy!

Want to Learn More?

If you are looking for support and guidance on your parenting journey, but typical parenting advice just isn’t cutting it, we’ve got you! We put together Warrior Parenting 101, our free guide to the basics of becoming a warrior parent. This guide goes deeper into each of the ten pillars, and gives you practical tools that you can easily implement. Here’s what’s included in Warrior Parenting 101:

If you are looking for parenting advice that is based on real-world experience, easy to implement for children of any age, and rooted in Christian values, Warrior Parenting 101 is exactly what you need! Just click the button below to get your copy!

Still have questions about becoming a Warrior parent? No worries! We have lots of great content coming to the blog over the next few weeks. In the meantime, if you have questions or need more support in your parenting journey, please feel free to reach to me at stephanie@teamunconquerable.com. I’ll be happy to help you however I can!

Talk to you soon!

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What is Resilience?

It Starts With YOU!